The Identity In-Between

For a long time, I struggled to understand why I felt so different from the people who, on paper, should have been my people. Whether it was classmates, coworkers, or cultural communities, I always felt like an outsider looking in. It wasn’t until a year or two ago that I learned the term intersectionality, and it was like finding the missing piece of a lifelong puzzle. For the first time, I had a framework to understand why I didn’t fully fit into any one group. I realized that my identity isn’t defined by a single label but rather by the intersections of many. I’m Afro-Caribbean, Mexican, a first-generation American, queer, and an engineer, to list a few. Each of these parts of me informs how I experience the world, and together, they shape a perspective that is uniquely mine.

At first, navigating life with such overlapping identities felt like a burden. I constantly felt the need to mold myself to fit into spaces by speaking or acting a certain way to be accepted. Whether I was in predominantly minority schools growing up or in my predominantly white, upper-income high school, I never quite belonged. My classmates bonded over music, sports, and pop culture, while my interests were just so varied and different. I tried to force connection by changing parts of myself, but all it did was make me feel lonelier and less like myself.

My true growth began when I stopped chasing belonging and started creating it. In college, I finally found the freedom to explore all facets of who I was. I came out, met people from diverse backgrounds, and started to see that community doesn’t have to mean sameness but instead that it can mean shared understanding and mutual respect. My best friend and I became a community, just the two of us. A community built around knowing that we knew we could fully be ourselves around each other. With her, I could be completely authentic, and from that friendship, I learned that a community doesn’t have to be a big group of people like I once thought but can be just two people who see and accept each other fully.

A pivotal moment came during my senior year when I attended an Out 4 Undergrad conference in Minnesota. For the first time, I was surrounded by queer peers who embraced me without hesitation. It felt like stepping into the sunlight after years of living in the shadows. That experience transformed how I saw myself and further reinforced in me what community should be. From that experience on, I never wanted to mold myself to fit in again, but instead wanted to build spaces where authenticity was celebrated.

Today, resilience to me means embracing every part of who I am without apology. It means acknowledging the hardship of feeling in between and turning it into the strength of being able to connect with all kinds of people. I take authorship of my story by living authentically and letting community find me through truth, not performance. My journey taught me that belonging doesn’t come from conforming but from creating spaces where everyone can exist as their full selves. And in doing so, I’ve finally found mine.